Here I Go Again

It’s 7:13 a.m.  People are beginning to straggle in to my office.  I’ve already been here for nearly 2 hours.

Ever get to work and then discover there are stains on the front of your pants?  Did you care?  I don’t.

Yesterday I was joking around with the woman in the cube next to me.  I asked her if the phone call she was on was a personal call.  (As we are supposed to be using our office phones for work related conversations.)  She asked me what I was going to do about it.  I jokingly said, “Deborah, don’t make me come over there.”  As I have said to countless people over the years.  Then, from across the cube wall Deborah’s self appointed bodyguard says, “Be careful Doug”.  Deborah says to me, “Did you hear what my friend said?”  I replied, “I wasn’t sweating anybody before he got here, I’m still not sweating anybody.”  Captain dumb-ass says, “Well then walk on over here buddy, I guarantee you won’t walk back.”  This guy has been here for two days.  He doesn’t know me, or anything about me.


I have to be very careful about what I say next.

Generally speaking, I am not the sort of person that you threaten.  I am also not the sort of person to sit around telling you what I’m going to do.  If I have decided to do something you will usually know about it as it is being done.  My mind however, does race with all the possible responses.  Verbal and non-verbal responses.  But I am not so foolish as to sit here and document any of those thoughts.

I’ve decided that knowing and conversing with Deborah has not added anything worth noting to my life, and so it is not worth dealing with the moron on the other side of the wall over.  Because he will continue to run his mouth, and eventually both our careers will be ruined when I have to shut it.  To be honest, if you’ve read any of my previous posts you are likely pondering the notion that I don’t much care about my “career”.  If you know me at all you are certain that I don’t care at all about his.  You’d be right on both counts.  But we are in a federal building doing classified work for the U.S. Government.  I am not inclined to spend time in jail over some no count scrub.

You do have to wonder what goes through people’s minds.  I’m 44, not 16.  Does this guy think we’re going to throw down in the office?  He “guarantees” I won’t walk back?  Really?

I gotta stop.  Just suffice it to say that I’m too young to die and too old to take an ass whoopin’.  So anyone expecting to “fight” me is going to be in for a bit of a shock.

I imagine that sometime shortly Deborah will notice that I have nothing else to say to her.  We’ll see how her buddy reacts to that.  I don’t much care.  But it is intriguing to find that even 26 years out, you can still walk in to high school on any given morning.  It is worth noting that some of the people who read this blog knew me in high school.  I wasn’t someone you threaten then, either.

Anyway, I imagine the sun is up.  I won’t see it until this afternoon sometime.

Another long day of utter incompetence on the part of management, next to zero productivity on the part of the employees, and thousands of wasted tax-payer dollars to look forward to.  This is why I get a kick out of people who believe government has the answers.  You are reading what your government is like.  Over the course of several years I have written these entries from various spaces, working for various agencies, on different contracts, different shifts, different companies.  But the tale remains the same.

It gets worse.  As contractors we actually have metrics and deadlines to meet, and we can be removed from a contract for failure to perform.  The actual government employee has no such fear.  They can simply show up for 30 years, produce nothing, and retire with a nice pension.

Anyway, it’s time to go to “work”.  If anyone falls down an elevator shaft or anything, I’ll update this later.


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